True Beard 769
Dear friends, today we have a new format — 10 facts to tell about ourselves from one of the prominent residents of our world. Thanks to his tavern, where you can buy yesterday’s pastries at ridiculous prices before noon every day, adventurers can find overnight accommodation and delicious food close to the Chasm. You can also get the day before yesterday’s pastries almost completely free — for just 2 coppers — by using the promo code “ILOVETOADS”.
So. Shu shak! And his 10 facts about himself!
- I’m not a dwarf. NOT A DWARF!
2. I have very pretty ears.
3. When I was a child, I was the first one of my peers to hit a swamp frog with a rock.
4. Unlike my peers, I have never had any romance with swamp frogs
5. My grandfather passed on to me his signature recipe for fish guts beer. Everyone said only perverts liked this beer, but my grandfather and I really liked it.
6. I participated in six raids on elven lands and even captured a couple of elves once. The relationship turned out to be abusive — the elves were totally unreasonably jealous of the swamp toads and forbade me to go to the swamp. A few years ago I managed to get rid of them. Which I’m proud of.
7. I feel like a third-gender person and could theoretically love anyone. Except dwarfs with huge beards of course.
8. I have six kegs of pickled fish giblets stashed away in my home village in a secret hiding place, and I can hide there for a year or more in case of emergency. I also have a large collection of pictures of swamp animals there.
9. The mascot of our tavern is Valeria the big swamp toad. I’ve never seen a prettier toad. On Mondays I give her a bouquet of snow-white swamp flowers. She’s the best.
10. One day I got drunk with two dwarfs. I won’t tell you the details further, but I turned out to be tougher than them. In many ways.
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