True Beard 762

The beardest news:

Attention! Yesterday, another poor fellow took a goblin trap in a gloomy forest for a mushroom circle, for which he paid dwarven dignity. Shaved and ridiculed, he was bought back for a pint of “elven tears”.

Forestcash guard announces the recruiting of one more Fend. Five dwarves of relative prowess with the following skills are invited: two shield-bearers with axes, a spearman and two crossbowmen. Free lunches at the local tavern are included, no matter what the innkeeper says.

The most truthful ads:

Is elvish magic only for elves? No! Now it’s available to you, my friend, whoever you are. Dorothea Rimbling’s unique course i’ll teach you how to weave spells no worse than the most skilled elves. Order my book with the nearest caravan. *The publisher is not responsible for the effectiveness.

Do you want to replenish your units with new hummies? Raz the Sniffer for your service. A renowned hummies hunter. He can hunt the creepy creatures even in the depths of the most impenetrable forests. He often sparred in the backyard of his mansion. He fights alone against 10–12 hummies. The survivors of these fights are good enough to do nothing but work in the kitchen.

Dwarf of the week!

Roll Torturer. One of Eridan most notorious Torturers — members of an ancient and vicious sect whose members swore to destroy all elves and everything connected with them. Rumor has it that the sectarians were allied with the goblins. Nonsense, of course.

Stay in touch, worthy dwarfs, to stay up to date!